How To Talk To Girls On Tinder

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Dating guide for men how to talk to women How To Talk To Girls On Tinder

Dating guide for men how to talk to women Your Complete Guide To Messaging Girls On Tinder... And Succeeding How To Talk To Girls On Tinder - AskMen

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With proper testing and Tinder profile optimization, getting matches is easy. However, many men still struggle with how to talk to girls on Tinder. Throughout my research building TinderHacks, and subsequent consulting with men who struggle to find success on Tinder, I’ve noticed a pattern that will significantly increase your success with Tinder messaging.

Building a great profile is just half the battle, because a match is virtually useless unless it leads to a conversation. What’s more, a conversation isn’t worth much if you can’t convert the exchange into a phone number, or better yet, a date.

If you’re struggling to get matches, then I suggest you start with my article I recently posted. Once you get the matches flowing, and want to step up your messaging game, read on…

Tinder Messaging Basics:

The truth is that by and large, a girl is not going to . A few will, but over 80% of them just aren’t going to do it. If you want to talk to her, you're going to have to make the first move on Tinder. 

Since girls are flooded with messages every single day, you need to send a message that stands out. A message that grabs her attention and piques her curiosity. We will dive into specific examples later in this article, but for now, rest assured that you need to send something more creative than “hey.”


  • Send the first message (try one of these )
  • Reference details you notice in her bio or pictures
  • Compliment her, but on something other than her looks
  • Ask genuine questions to get to know her better
  • Work on building a rapport
  • Then (and only then) move the conversation off Tinder


  • Don’t send a generic first message like “hi” or “hey”
  • Don’t send a string of messages if she doesn’t reply. As a general rule of thumb, only send one message for each message she sends.
  • Don’t send messages that are longer than a sentence or two.
  • Don’t be angry or bitter if you get no response. And if you do have a temper, definitely don’t air it out in another Tinder message. That’s how guys end up on .

When It Works:

Let’s look at some real-world examples and break down exactly what went right: In this exchange, Travis (a guy I coach with TinderHacks), says all the right things to get the conversation going. He uses a unique opener, builds rapport by asking questions about his match, and moves the conversation off Tinder in the first exchange, with a date lined up!

He starts with an opener much different than “hey.” This particular line is great for piquing curiosity. The girl will be curious “what keeps happening?” — which we can see she replied right away. He uses emojis really well, but doesn’t overdo it — and he lets her use the first one. 

By saying “another xyz,” he teases his match a little — giving her the chance to prove she is one of a kind. So already, she is trying to “win him over” in a sense.

He keeps the conversation focused on her, asking genuine questions, which gets her to open up about her dog. Travis has a dog too, so asking if her dog “plays well with other pups” is a perfect setup for a future puppy play date.

He also mentions that he is meeting up with friends later that night. Great move to showcase his social life, and also puts a deadline on the current conversation. Scarcity can be a good thing! It means you're and shows you're interested. 

I honestly think adding the “gym” part was unnecessary, but I am guessing Travis wanted to emphasize that he works out. He didn’t linger on the point though, which was smart — no need to brag. 

Instead of just asking, “What part of town are you in?” Travis takes a much smoother approach. He first mentions where he lives, then casually asks if that is close by.

When she says it is close to her, he immediately suggests they get together for a drink. The following message reminds her that he’s meeting up with friends later, which is probably the most critical message of this entire exchange. It re-affirms that he has a social life, and more importantly, it lets her know that the date will not drag on all night.

After working out the timing logistics, the girl suggests the place. This is great because it will be somewhere she is comfortable. Travis gets the number without ever having to ask, and the pair of them swipe happily ever after.

Key Takeaways:

  • Use a unique opening line
  • Ask questions to get to know your match and build a rapport
  • Be available, but not too available
  • Move the conversation off Tinder

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