1. When you fight, you will never win.
Give up arguing with a law student because he or she will not back down (arguing is practically their job). They will challenge you until they are blue in the face…even if you are obviously correct. Thus, be emotionally ready because they will find some defamation of your character or numerous evidentiary examples of why they are clearly winning the argument. In the end just accept the fact—they are always right.
2. They will dictate all preferred times and methods of communication.
If you can’t be flexible on how you keep in contact with your significant other in law school then quit while you’re ahead. You need to know that you will not stay awake until the wee hours of the night talking about your dreams and goals until one of you falls asleep. If you’re lucky, 10 minutes on the phone with your sweetie is like Christmas morning (it only happens once a year). The most revered communication in law school is the occasional text or G-chat. In between hours on their computer, Facebook is still their chosen form of procrastination. So download FB messenger and get used to using it. Oh, and here’s a line you need to be familiar with: “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”
3. Resentment is a cruel, cruel reality.
DO NOT tell your significant other who hasn’t left their seat in the library in 4 hours to even take a pee break that you had a glorious nap or that you had time to log a solid two hours at the gym. This will not go over well. Their three hours of reading has now turned into five and the fact that you get to watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey will be a source of bitterness to your weary scholar. So be prepared for him or her to take their frustrations out on you. Try not to take it too personally.
4. When they are with you, they are thinking about law school.
Dating someone in law school is like dating a crack addict looking for their next fix. They have the constant itch to think about what their professor thought of their answer in class, what chapter they need to read, or what paper they need to finish. Trying to spend a “normal” day with your significant other, with mundane activities such as going to the movies, going for a hike, or laying around and shooting the shit is NOT possible. It’s not that you aren’t entertaining or important—it’s just the harsh reality that law school will always win over a date with you. You are not their number one priority, you probably rank somewhere just under sleep. Ouch.
5. Sleep is better than sex.
Yes, that is unfortunately correct. Your law school boo will crave sleep. They are deprived of it so often that the bags under their eyes become permanent. So when they do have a free moment to catch some ZZZ’s, getting a hard-on isn’t their number one priority. If you have an insatiable sexual appetite, run from someone in law school…or invest in a vibrator.
6. They say shit you wouldn’t believe.
If you didn’t get the inference already—law students can’t help but be a little selfish. I get that, they earned it. They worked their asses off in undergrad, studied countless hours for the LSATs and now they are basically living at school. But let’s be honest, sometimes they say things that make you think they have lost all humanity. When I was studying for my MCATs, my 2-L boyfriend told me, “I don’t have the faculty to be over emotionally invested in your MCATs.” My only response was, “Who the fuck uses the word faculty?” A nice “good luck on your test” text would have sufficed.
7. It’s not you, it’s them.
Law students are busy people who need to focus on two things: school & themselves. They tend to constantly be “unavailable” and “overwhelmed.” This is a brutal reality you can either accept or refute. Bottom line is unless you have the time, the patience, and/or the compassion of a saint, dating a law student will either end in a viciously disastrous fashion or you’ll be married in no time, because if you can withstand three years of law school, you can handle anything.