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(In response to other people in this thread who said that Asian men felt frustrated/emasculated)
I get you're frustrated and the other guys on this thread might flame me for this, but... speak for yourself and not all Asian males.
I don't find it frustrating or emasculating, normally. I don't find these "pity parties" that useful. But then again I've been involved with women from many countries (1) and are able to regularly experience attraction from women of different races, including white and Asian...
I used to be frustrated too, I really did, but it changed for me when I started thinking about it less of as a racial issue (where the locus of control was outside of me - can't change my race), and one more about personal traits.
I can work on my personal traits.
So see, these are all things I can do.
Things changed for me once I stopped feeling sorry for myself (about things outside of my control) and worked on myself (on things that WERE within my control). If every Asian male who is feeling sorry for himself about his racial lot in life - if every single despairing Asian male poster on this thread, plus all the silent readers who are nodding their heads in agreement lurking in front of their computer screens - were to change themselves into attractive, sexy, interesting, strong, smart, kind men, the perception that Asian males are unattractive and weak would disappear within half a generation.
If anything, more women, of all races, would begin dating Asian men, and you've give me more competition.
But this societal shift requires all the frustrated Asian men to take action on things within their control.
^This is you, leveling up and going Super Saiyan on your life.
Are you doing that?
For me, this has worked extremely well. I receive much more attention from women of different races, but also, importantly, let go of a lot of my old frustration and anger - which if I were honest were just angry reactions to having my needs denied, being sexually and romantically unfulfilled. Well no fucking shit - before, I had put almost zero effort and thought in being attractive and getting my life together. A few women had expressed interest in me before but they were outliers. Since seeing the issue as more about personal traits and working to change them, I have had flings and relationships with many women, and many women are attracted to me. If it worked for me, a pretty average smart/nerdy East Asian dude, it will probably work for you too.
- - - - - - - - - -
Note: In America, especially in the South, you will definitely meet racists. Even in the most liberal, cosmopolitan parts of the country you will meet women whose reactions to you are micro-aggressions, who make certain assumptions about you literally only based on your race, no matter how hot or strong or successful or interesting or friendly you appear/are. Luckily, these women are in the minority. Conversely, there are many, many very attractive, interesting, smart women who are not racists and do not use race as a brightline for dating. You can ignore the former group and happily accept attention, conversation, and more from the latter group. :)
Secret tip: Something I realized about my race that actually worked in my favor dating was that because Asians were perceived as more innocuous and harmless, I found that if I just smiled I was able to talk to girls more often since they didn't perceive me as a threat. Many women automatically assume most strange men nearby are creepy, but I was often give a free pass. If they knew that I was a competitive fighter, I wonder if they'd still view me as harmless.
Here are the next steps for you to think about:
Do all this, work on the traits that you have control over, and you'll stop the self-pity and self-loathing that you're undoubtedly mired in. And share this with your friends so you can work on your lives together - some of my female friends say that we could use more hot Asian guys in the world! ;)
(1) Korean, Chinese/Taiwanese, Japanese, American, Canadian, Russian, Swedish, and Australian women. Sorry I'm a douchebag for listing this out.
******************** Edit to the Original Answer ********************
I'm, clearly, not an Asian male, but I do have an anecdote that is relevant to this thread.
Quite a few years ago, I remember an Asian friend of mine relaying the experience of seeing the film, Romeo Must Die, with two other Asian males. It wasn't a great film, but the badness of it all was punctuated by the fact that the lead actor (Jet Li) never once shared a kiss with his costarring actress (deceased R&B singer Aaliyah).
Afterwards, I watched the film myself and was surprised to see that he was correct; they never shared anything beyond a hug during the entire movie. I also began to realize that, aside from the film The Lovers, I had never seen an Asian male playing a romantic lead - they only seemed to be action heroes.
That led to a conversation about how Asian males appear to be desexualized in the United States (I can't speak on other cultures).
It was an awkward conversation because, at that time, I was dating an Asian woman. It made me realize that, aside from the Asians deeply enmeshed within a certain Asian community, every Asian female I knew dated anyone else BUT an Asian male.
I got an earful of this problem and it hit home because it introduced a cultural bias that I was not aware existed. I personally felt as if they had charmed lives because they did not have to deal with people thinking the worst of them the very minute that they lay eyes upon them.
The truth is that I was very envious of them. I believed that it had to be magnificent for people to assume that you were intelligent and law-abiding despite not having been debriefed of your personal history. I never knew of a time where they felt the weight of having to try and restructure a first impression so that people would be at ease with their presence and would stop questioning whether they belonged in the space they were occupying. This is the standard order of business for Black Americans (especially young people) when we enter a high-end store, a luxury hotel, or a highbrow restaurant.
Though we all dressed similarly, no one would misconstrue their fitted ball caps, baggy jeans and large t-shirts for anything more than a personal fashion statement.
However, I learned that just because you're not dealing with one set of negative perceptions doesn't mean that there aren't others to haunt your life. Some people perceived them to be “poseurs” because of their clothing. Nothing could be further from the truth; two of them were far more “street” than I would ever be. Some people thought they would be pushovers. Many assumed that they were great at math. They were bright, but none of them were like the Asians who are constantly contrasted against other minorities to castigate them for not achieving the same types of financial successes. They didn’t all have perfect families and they knew about crime and a couple of them knew about crime and consequences in a way I have never known.
They were just some American kids, just like me. If there is anything to take away from this, I wish that people could take a minute to check their perceptions, learn some history to get some context, and stop believing that it’s okay to leave people in boxes because of their appearance or names.
On a closing note, I had been a witness to an encounter one of them had at a fast food restaurant where it was clear that the antagonist was convinced that my Asian friend would be a patsy in a fight. However, he added that he may stand a chance if he was to "use his Karate". My friend is Laotian.